Stuck

I feel...stuck. Since I made the decision to take time off of college to get my health under control...when I'm not at doctor's offices, I lay around watching TV and playing Facebook games. I have almost no social life whatsoever as everyone I know is pretty much from Loyola. I don't think that I should be at school...because I'd miss so much work just from doctor's visits that it would be extremely detrimental to my grades. But I can't stand this life that I'm now forced to live. It's not just boredom, it feels like isolation...and it's so very depressing.

Now it looks like my car is going to be totaled after the accident, which means I have no means of transportation, so I can't even go visit my friends at Loyola on the weekends (which is where I was headed when the car ran into mine).

HELP!

My future seems so grim, so bleak...not to mention I doubt anyone even gives a crap about what I'm going through...my own parents don't even bother to listen to how I feel, or anything I have to say for that matter. I don't want to pester my friends by calling them too often...and I have no idea what too often would be. They don't call me, so I assume they are all really busy, or just don't care enough to call.

So what do I do? My parents can't afford to pay for me to go to college again, and once I have to start paying for my own health insurance, it will be so expensive from all my medical conditions, there is no way that I could possibly afford to pay for student loans. Not to mention I'm always going to have all of these medical issues, and doctor's visits...so how can I manage college? The two years I was in college were miserable (and amazing). I was always teetering on the edge of a breakdown, and frequently did in fact have breakdowns.

Well...I guess I'll do what I always do...

Wait, dig deeper into the hole that I've begun for myself...and pray to God that someone's coming with a rope...